BT Swami's conflict resolution techniques
In general, conflicts should not be seen as "bad". They are something we can learn and grow from. Conflicts, if handled correctly, result in a "win/win" situation where everyone is better off.
Ineffective conflict resolution
- Battle mode: the idea that we have to fight the other party
- Avoidance mindset: it will not go away
- Negotiation, arbitration and bargaining: causes the problem to resurface later, if people are not fully satisfied with the deal
- Bandage: doing a little something to (half-)patch things up, but not really dealing with the underlying issues
- Role-playing: approach conflict based on status: "I'm the big leader, so you better do as I say".
Effective conflict resolution
- Create an effective atmosphere: comfortable, non-threatening
- Clarify both parties' conceptions of the problem
- Focus on individual needs and shared needs: what needs do both parties have in common?
- Build upon these shared positions
- Learn from the past, but look to the future: don't dwell on the past problems/issues/disagreements
- Look at various possible solutions: record things that are agreed upon
- Build upon agreements
- Form mutually binding agreements on what will be done